School ended last week, and our family of four felt a sense of foreboding. We mourned the loss of the travel we'd planned and looked forward to for the past year. We slowly accepted the reality that we will now be sheltering in place with no playdates with friends in the immediate future.
We are likely to be one another's main companions for many months to come. Sometimes it can be tough to feel we will suffice. Sometimes adolescent volatility compounds that feeling.
Night Owl To Early Bird
My daughter is a night owl who sleeps until 10am if left to her own devices. The only exception to that rule had been during a family trip last summer, when she asked me to rouse her on my early schedule so the two of us could hike together while the rest of the family slept in. Out time exploring trails along the central California coast became a valuable chance to chat and developed a special bond.
Based on that sweet but distant memory, last night I suggested to my daughter that we awaken early the next day and head to the beach, just the two of us. The surf report showed 2-3 foot waves with favorable morning winds. She would not commit, but I informed her that I planned to be out of the house by 7:30am on the off chance she decided to join me.
When I walked out of my bedroom at 7am, she was in the living room, reading a book on the sofa. She had already eaten breakfast and changed into her swimsuit! We packed the gear into my car, improvising a last minute few changes. It turns out since our last time in the water almost a year ago, she'd outgrown her wetsuit. She borrowed her mother's suit for the day.
Conditions were perfect on our arrival, slightly overcast with a mostly empty parking lot. There were a dozen surfers in the water spread over several breaks. The surface was glassy and clear, with a mild breeze, and the sun broke through the clouds within minutes of paddling out.
My daughter was like a fish, darting through and under waves. She quickly demonstrated that she'd finally outgrown the need for me to push her into a wave in order to catch it. The experience felt like reaching a milestone together - she could hold her own and no longer needed a safety chaperone at her side in the water.
We enjoyed the thrill of racing to paddle out before a large sneaker set broke; getting our butts kicked a little bit when we didn't make it in time; and splashing around on a beautiful day.
It was a day spent under the influence: there is inherent bliss in certain outdoor experiences that underscore your insignificance in the greater scheme of a universe, and remind you how the world holds infinite wonder for the curious.
We both needed that.
A summer full of days like this one would be a delight.
Perhaps we will suffice for one another after all.
Comments 6
Awesome that your daughter still values time with you over sleep.
Parenting well done.
Author
More relief that I haven’t screwed up my kids as much as I’d feared I had, but I’ll accept it all the same.
What a memorable day you created — odds are great neither of you will ever forget it!
He shoots, He scores!
Wonderful to hear a sweet father-daughter bonding story. You made my day and improved my mood after seeing a lot of crazy covid stuff today.
Author
What a kind thing to say, Heather, thank you.
That’s obviously not our every day. I swing and miss a lot, but those moments of connection sustain me.
Fondly,
CD