When A Forty Year Old Soul Approaches Fifty

Birthday morning - I'm up before the house at 6:30 am, take my morning constitutional, and then it's out the door by 7am to catch the tail end of the most recent winter swell. The water is frigid. There are only three surfers and a guy on a surfski spread far apart along the sandy shorebreak as several 3-4 foot lines roll in from a wall of fog.

Birthdays are less special events than opportunities for taking stock. Some of this is born of the emergency physician's constant requirement to work weekends and holidays. I've adapted, and like most ER docs, contemporaneous celebration means little to me. But I digress.

I'm the oldest guy in the water, paddling out on a modified sponge, in an act somewhat incongruous with my age.

The reason that doesn't bother me is because I was born forty, and most of my life has been spent with my physiology catching up to my world outlook.

When friends in high school when out drinking, I always volunteered to serve as sober driver because I could see the future disaster I intended to avert.

Ditto with dating in college and beyond. When a relationship was going well, I'd find myself asking if I could envision sharing custody of a child for a lifetime with the person across the mattress, and the vast majority of the time the answer was no. My actions reflected that answer.

The burden of thinking in terms of the long game has served me well in relationships, education and personal finance.

Strangely, I now find myself thinking in terms that might be construed as "younger" than my peers.

When someone wants to pour me a glass of fine wine, I warn them that while I'll gladly accept a glass of their French Bordeaux, I'd be just as happy if they save it for someone who can tell the difference and instead pour me some two buck Chuck from Trader Joe's.

I buy most clothing and gear used, although I tend to go for trusted brands with a history of quality and durability.

My cars, past and present, could charitably be described as the sort most teens are embarrassed to inherit from their soccer dads. (Admittedly, this only rings true of privileged teens who are the children of working professionals - my kids and possibly yours, dear reader.)

In fact, I recently looked up the Kelly Blue Book value of my beloved Kia - it's about two grand. I can think of multiple colleagues off the top of my head who own road bikes that are worth two to three times my car's value.

I remark on this not to judge others, but to observe that my quotidien, age-incongruous preferences have weathered the approach to fifty unchanged. As one might expect, it's the day to day spending that brings victories about through the accumulation of marginal gains.

Those habits that have trended toward more expensive tastes are vacation luxuries (on indefinite hold for now). In addition to exploring the developing world, our pre-COVID trips included European travel. Instead of hostels with a shared group bathroom and a dorm full of bunk beds, family needs are better met (and the peace more easily maintained) through AirBnB rentals.

For the most part, however, a lifetime of acting like a 40 year old in a 20 year old's body has prepared me to live as a 40 year old with a 20 year old's lifestyle in a 50 year old's body. Those affordable habits and economic tastes hopefully portend good things for the future.

How does your body diverge from your mindset?