You are in your late 20s, at a cocktail party, and strike up a conversation with a friendly and socially lubricated stranger while standing in line for a drink. Five minutes into the conversation, the stranger asks you what you do. How do you reply?
It's a probing question, and it can mean a ton of different things.
- Is this a transactional question? A status biopsy to ascertain your relative import on the social ladder, and determine if you are a rung worth climbing?
- Is this solely a pretext for the stranger to tell you what he or she does, possibly flexing his or her own social capital?
- Will you take this opportunity to be transparent or indulge in playful obfuscation?
When I was single, I was deliberately avoiding anyone who was looking to date a doctor. I used to list my occupation as "crisis management" in online bios on dating sites, figuring that it could just as easily describe a social worker or firefighter as a physician.
I didn't want to be valued as a partner for my occupation or income potential. I'd contrast this with my med school roommate, who as a first year would wear scrubs out while running errands, and had a pager.
For those readers not in medicine, the only time you wear scrubs as a first years is to anatomy lab so that your regular clothes won't reek of formaldehyde. And there is no reason for a first year medical student to have a pager - no one cares where you are, so long as you stay out of the way.
My roommate would ask, " At noon I plan to be looking at pairs of glasses with a very cute optometrist I scoped out last week. Can you PLEASE page me at precisely 12 o'clock?"
In case you are wondering, yes, he asked the optometrist out, and yes, I felt somewhat complicit as an enabler to his shenanigans.
I've been revisiting this question lately because I don't necessarily see myself as a physician first, and in several years time I may not be a physician at all. So what,then, do I do?
A helpful starting point came from, of all things, a random speaker in a five minute online video, who summed up how to define your purpose in five easy steps:
- Who are you?
- What do you do (what do you feel qualified to teach other people)?
- Whom do you do it for?
- What do those people want or need?
- How do those people change as a result?
I'm going to spend some time today working through this deceptively simple-seeming framework, but the speaker points out that only two of these questions are about me. The majority are about service to others. There some wisdom in that.
Comments 6
There is a fund called the Artemis Fund. The goal of the fund is to control risk over 100 years so you’re volatility is always optimized. If your volatility is optimized, you standard deviation is negligible. You can still loose but your rate of loss is optimal. Volatility is a truth machine. If you live the truth, volatility can’t touch you. If you live a lie volatility will bring you to your knees. If your volatility is optimal the value of what you own is very close to its true value. That may be the solution. To present yourself to yourself and others, in a way that is very close to your true value. Then there are no surprises, no drama, minimum volatility. The problem is people want to be maxed out in perceived superiority. The solution is to dare to allow yourself your honest spot on the Bell curve and be satisfied. If you are a 2 SD person, attempting a 3 SD life, it will break you.
Author
Gasem,
That’s a fascinating thought exercise. The only caveat is that (for reasons both simple and complex) I’ve learned that I prefer to be underestimated. In doing so, it allows me space to underpromise and overperform.
Any thoughts on the risks of being a 2D content to let others assume you are 1D?
CD
That’s how I set up my retirement. My necessary monthly AG income is well contained in the first SD even though my net worth ranks me in the top 1% This allows me to be treated with first SD tax treatment. It is funded by maxed out SS income (age 70) and a single IRA of about 500K. This keeps me in the second tax bracket for about 15 years post RMD. I use the IRA as a variable annuity and extract enough above RMD to keep the principal at 500K. In down markets I extract only RMD until the principal is once again above 500K. This satisfies SOR risk If I need more money I simply and intermittently tap my portfolio and otherwise leave that unmolested . SS is inflation adjusted and tax advantaged in such a way that in the second bracket the gross monthly income pays it’s own tax burden. If my gross is 5K/mo and I file married joint, I’m taxed on 85% the additional 15% left over more than pays the taxes on the 5K. 500K at 72 RMD’s 19K. At 82 it RMD’s 29K and at 87 it RMD’s 37K. If your 500K yields 6% that’s 30K/yr. So simply withdraw 30K each year despite RMD unless the market is down. If the market is down withdraw only the RMD. Say your 500K becomes 400K at age 74 due to a 20% market decline, Your RMD would be 17K. So that year and every year after withdraw only the RMD until your back at 500K. This keeps you in the second bracket(the 1 SD bracket) for a long time and pays your bills with the least amount of taxes. In down years you will need to supplement with a little cash from the portfolio (in this example 13K). In up years the portfolio remains untouched. Since RMD is a variable function of age and is not a constant you have to calculate this every year but it takes 2 minutes to calculate.
Author
Elegant!
Now that I’ve even stopped the limited amount of consulting I have been doing for the five years since I retired, I will have to find another answer. I used to say I was mostly retired and did a little consulting. Now I guess I’ll just have to say I’m retired, period. I’m pretty sure nobody wants to hear me answer those five questions. Any answer more than one sentence long is going to be way into the TMI category.
Author
Steveark,
It’s true that most who ask don’t care to hear nuanced replies.
I’d be willing to bet, however, that you could come up with some delightful ambiguity that amuses you and probes for that rare but sincerely interested questioner.
Perhaps (based on my limited knowledge of your background) you might reply, “I explore new ways to channel ambition.”
Best,
CD