Erik Erikson was a developmental psychologist and analyst who coined the term "identity crisis."
His theory of developmental stages remains influential, despite the fact that his education was more experiential than his fellow analysts, who often touted their more impressive institutional pedigrees.
I was introduced to his theories as an undergraduate majoring in Human Biology, and they stuck with me.
His stages of development include:
- Trust vs. mistrust
- Autonomy vs. shame
- Initiative vs. guilt
- Industry vs. inferiority
- Identity vs. role confusion
- Intimacy vs. isolation
- Generativity vs stagnation
- Ego integrity vs despair
Numbers 5 occupied most of my adolescent years and number 6 extended well into my late 20s. Meeting my wife and starting a family largely resolved those stages. I now catch myself lingering on number 7.
Generativity vs stagnation is the developmental stage where an adult in middle age, typically around ages 40-65, often struggles with deciding if they are progressing in their career or purpose.
The concept of generativity is that you are involved in creating or nurturing something that will outlast you. This impact can manifest in any number of ways.
In my home office, I have a small framed quote cut directly from the pamphlet that accompanied my college graduation:
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm a sap, and this quote hits the mark in my chest every time. At various times in my youth I dreamed of working toward that redeemed social condition. I've since lowered the bar, hoping to pull off a couple of healthy children.
I'm also still aiming for one or two beings breathing easier thanks to my time here (at times, quite literally, due to a tube I inserted in a trachea).
A few days ago, during a road trip, we pit stopped at Stanford to have a picnic and break up a larger drive, which is a roundabout way of saying my wife felt like a dose of nostalgia would do us all good.
My son, who inherited my love of bookstores, insisted we give him ample time to explore the university bookstore.
I was numb and a little grumpy from hours of driving, but I reluctantly acquiesced. As I stood trying to regain feeling in my rump, I happened upon a book by two professors in the school of design, entitled "Design Your Life."
Bingo. This was the universe telling me to get off my (numb) butt.
At this point, early in the book, there are a few guiding principles to the life design process that seem promising:
- Curiosity
- Bias to action
- Reframing
- Awareness
- Radical Collaboration
I'm excited, considering asking a friend to read it with me to keep me accountable to the ideas in it. I'm also feeling ripe to act on its messages - to figure out my act two and set a timetable for making the leap.
More to come...