Will I Miss My Ex?

crispydocUncategorized 32 Comments

I've accepted a position outside of clinical medicine.

It represents an opportunity to continue to support the community health system I've been a part of to continue to ensure it's viability for the future, at the hospital where both my kids were born.

A little like going from player to coach while supporting the same team enterprise.

Making this decision from a position of financial independence makes it sweeter still - I'm choosing it for the challenge, education and intellectual engagement - not the paycheck.

On the one hand, it's not at all what I expected for my second act.

Seen from another angle, it's the culmination of perhaps four years of iteration, prototyping, and failing forward. I'd thrown a number of different ideas at the wall, but nothing had stuck until now.

The details are less important than the fact that this came about as a result of continually putting out feelers with new people in new places, persisting in the face of repeated failures, and eventually benefiting from fortuitous timing.

It was the Stoic philosopher Seneca, validated: luck occurs when preparation meets opportunity.

I'm leaving clinical medicine completely when I begin this new position.

Friends and family have asked if I'll miss medicine. What can you say about your ex-?

My romance with clinical medicine has run its course.

Our relationship taught me a great deal.

I was deeply committed and made a meaningful contribution as best I knew how.

There were some incredible highs, and some devastating lows.

Moving on to a second act does not diminish what we had, and I'll always hold a special place in my heart for the privilege of comforting a dying patient, extracting a barbie shoe from a toddler's nose, or making a diagnosis on a crashing patient in time to avoid an otherwise fatal outcome.

But I'm excited at the chance to prove myself in a new capacity with bright, strategic thinkers who have agreed to take me under their wings and teach me the ropes of a new body of knowledge.

It's thrilling to rekindle the old flame from my MPH days with population health management.

Life is handing me a golden ticket for a great new adventure that is simply too tempting to pass up.

I'll miss my ex-, but I won't dwell in the past.

It's just time to move on.

Life feels dizzy with abundance and the potential for reinvention!

I only wish that you, too, will know this feeling when the time is right, dear reader (if you haven't already).

Fondly,

CD

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  1. I switched from a 50 hour work week to an 8 hour work week when I early retired. I just wanted more time for volunteering and shared hobbies with my also retired wife. Plus less restrictions to my schedule. That was almost six years ago and now I’ve cut back on the 8 hours a week to even less. The money I earn or don’t earn is meaningless, it is only the time that matters. How does this change impact your time freedom and do you plan to work less hours as time goes on?

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      Excellent questions all, Steveark.

      My wife works a job with a distinct busy season and flexible hours where she is the boss, so she is busy but available, and my leisure time was somewhat out of synch with hers in that I had far more of it. This job theoretically has the ability to work 2 out of 5 days from home, which will still be work, but availability to be present for homework help and rides to/from extracurriculars. Alternately, I might go in daily but depart every afternoon in time to be home when the kids get back – synching my hours to the current family rhythm. Travel experiences remain protected. This job is really an opportunity to explore intellectual curiosity and strategic thinking as a form of reinventing my role in medicine, and my family is supportive of my trying that out. Best case, it’s a great fit and I we all have our needs met. Worst case, it’s not a good fit and we reassess in a year. I suspect that once I understand the key meetings I need to attend regularly, there will be greater flexibility in where I get the work done, as I answer primarily to one person whom I am very excited to work with.

      Promise to fill you in as the experiment progresses!

      Fondly,

      CD

      P.S. Glad to hear you are in the clear following your quarter million dollar procedure!

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  2. Sounds like you finally completed combustion. From the ashes the Phoenix arises and enters a different river. When the right thing comes it’s self evident and only requires the courage to brave the change.

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      Thanks PoF! I’m looking forward to the new adventure, but it will be weird to be out of a relationship that’s seen me grow so profoundly.
      On to the next chapter!

      Fondly,

      CD

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      Hey Melissa,

      Thanks for stopping by – I’m very sure of the first step, as for stability of the earth from here on out I can only say I have a good feeling about the experiences and people I’ll meet on the journey.

      Grateful you still visit after all these years of modeling one of those unconventional paths I so admire,

      CD

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  3. The relationship metaphor is perfect. “Til death do us part” was not an oath any physician took. For some of us, medicine was our first serious relationship. But I sure am glad I didn’t persevere with my high school girlfriend (no matter now needy she was), and I’m equally glad I didn’t persevere with medicine.

    When it comes to the work we do, there’s a lot to be said for serial monogamy with a few fun flings along the way.

    So very happy for you, CD 🙂

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      Matt,

      Is it a mark of my immaturity that each successive reference to old relationships seems more delightful than the last?
      Let’s see if this new job is a rebound career or the start of something beautiful.

      Thanks for your support,

      CD

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  5. Congratulations on the new role.
    There can be mixed feelings about leaving clinical medicine for a more admin role – even after achieving F.I. I have been there, also, but I gain satisfaction in knowing that I, too, am still contributing to the community with my expertise.
    Well done!

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      Hi Jerome,

      Thanks for the kind words. I’m approaching this new role with anticipation and appreciation of the mystery (even after inquiring ten different ways, I have only a vague conceptual framework of the many hats I’ll wear in this new role). Oddly, the one thing I have no hesitation about is leaving behind is clinical medicine – certainly willing to acknowledge that this could change over time, but I’ve felt ripe to move onto the next great adventure.

      While I’m grateful for the opportunity to contribute in this new way, I’d be okay contributing outside of medicine if this gig doesn’t turn out to be the right fit, although all indications thus far are promising.

      Glad you could stop in,

      CD

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      Hey Junaid,

      Thanks for the well wishes. Stasis offers the path of least resistance because it’s the path of least reward.
      It’s exciting to overcome inertia every now and then.

      Glad you stopped by,

      CD

  6. Congratulations! You’ll still have your ex’s number but I’ll bet you never dial it. (And perhaps in a couple of years you’ll be shaking your head, wondering how you tolerated her antics for as long as you did…)

    Cheers to next chapters!

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      Thanks Kristina!

      I’ve blocked the number to ensure none of those late night post break up “You up?” texts ever get through.

      Shaking my head indeed! We’ve got not just chapters but entirely different books to write…

      Fondly,

      CD

  7. Am so excited for you! That you are using your MPH and evolving in your role, for the betterment of society and medicine – is amazing. Let me know if you want to work on climate and health issues at all as I’m Harvard Med MD alumni as well. I’ve had a similar growth in my career, and we are presenting a big panel at Pediatric Academic Societies soon on climate and health. best of luck to you in this new endeavor and so excited for you and for our discipline!

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      Appreciate your support and enthusiasm, Dr. PP! At this point, I’ve got a mouthful with the bite I’ve just taken, but as I get more comfortable in the role I’ll keep your generous offer in mind. Excited for you upcoming presentation, hopeful it will have the impact you seek.

      Fondly,

      CD

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