When I met C, we were in the 4th grade. Although I'd started at the school a few years earlier, he fit right into my circle of nerds, occupying the key role of dungeonmaster during games of Dungeons and Dragons at lunch.
We were both brought by bus to a public magnet school located in a wealthy part of LA (OJ Simpson lived a few blocks from campus). We were both sons of immigrants who ate weird food and spoke a different language with our parents at home.
C came by bus from the San Fernando Valley, while I had my own one hour bus ride from the Mar Vista neighborhood (as if to taunt us, we had no view of the ocean from my house).
Years later, a friend from residency who purchased a home in my old neighborhood mentioned having done so with the qualification, "Don't worry, it's not so ghetto any more." I had no idea.
When my family relocated from LA to a town in central California at the start of the sixth grade, C and I were close enough friends that we corresponded for over a year (despite being at an age where absolutely nothing eventful was happening). I can't recall who dropped the ball, but eventually the letters stopped in junior high school.
I did not think about C again until my senior year of high school. The preceding summer, a fire in a nearby national forest razed over 500 structures, including my family home. We were among the fortunate to react quickly enough to find a rental home in town while we rebuilt.
While in the rental home, I received a forwarded letter from C. He'd read about the fire, and although we'd been out of touch, he wanted to be sure my family and I were okay. I was deeply moved - what 17 year old boy thinks this way?
We are now 42 years into our friendship. We've attended one another's weddings and supported each other through the loss of a parent. He's watched my kids grow up. I've watched him build a life with his wife, fund his sister's education, assist his surviving parent financially and emotionally.
C is one of a small group of lifetime friends I want to continue to spend more time with as my kids grow increasingly independent.
I dread the day my kids leave home, but deepening my friendships now will hopefully lighten the burden of their inevitable departure.