I recently struggled through an awkward encounter with someone dear to me.
I had mentioned in passing that I was selected to participate in an out of town conference related tangentially to this blog - a chance to rejoin the community of physician finance geeks and to see old "invisible friends" that I continue to sustain connectedness with.
This person suggested it would be a fun trip to take together, and had a number of very reasonable suggestions about how to set up the trip as a shared experience for both of us.
I am embarrassed to admit that I reacted poorly to those suggestions. Instead of seeing an opportunity to enjoy good company and grow together with a friend, I could only envision the potential downsides:
- Would I feel constrained in the activities or courses I chose to attend?
- Would this person judge my fellow physician finance bloggers to be less than?
- Would I feel unable to seek out new people who were weird like me in order to spend more time together with my companion?
The deep pleasure I take in writing this blog has derived from (among other facets) having a safe opportunity to reinvent myself with new people who share my enthusiasms and eccentricities.
Finding my tribe, however geographically dispersed, has been a deeply rewarding aspect of expressing myself through the blog. Some are fellow bloggers, others are friends who reached out via email after relating to a particular post or leaving an insightful comment.
All are weird in the same way that I am, whether it's through their investing philosophy, their love of dirtbaggery, or the fact that they manifest their frugality in ways considered uncouth for folks at our income bracket (Cut my own hair? Of course I do!).
Finding folks like this in life's daily interactions is an uncommon and precious experience. For years, I offered the newbie hires in our ER group the chance to grab a coffee and talk about finances. A few would take me up on the offer, and fewer still waxed as enthusiastic about the topics as I did.
But boy, when you struck gold, it was amazing. One friend invited me to meet his two med school buddies to talk personal finance over sushi. Another confided her plans to FIRE and retire abroad in the coming decade.
Finding folks I connect with at a physician finance conference is like shooting fish in a barrel. It's an embarrassment of riches, and I want the chance to meet and enjoy the stories from as many of my fellow weirdos as possible.
Which is part of the reason I had trouble accepting a kind offer of company from someone whose company I so enjoy.
Is it wrong to want something to be yours alone?
(I suspect this is a maturity deficit on my part.)