In junior high school, we were asked to investigate the topic of our choice and to provide both a written and an oral report for English class. At the time I was dating a cute 7th grade classmate whose parents were divorced, so I ambitiously selected the topic, “Children of Divorce.” I recall checking a not very good book from …
Anniversary
It’s been a year since I lost my father. I recall his last day with clarity. I arrived at the hospice early, shortly after my mother. Dad was lucid, in good spirits, happy to see me. We discussed the middle of the night solo foray to the bathroom that had left his oxygen tubing detached from him after catching on …
Cashing Out The Memory Dividend
It arrived when I was most expecting it but least prepared to handle it: the parental obsolescence of adolescence. It’s inaccurate to say the kids don’t need me, because they do. They simply don’t have time for me outside of those very specific moments when they need only me. I’ve become a hex wrench – critically useful for a very …
Learning Magic From A Wizard
He stood out to me before we became friends. His all white hair and a matching goatee contrasted well with his dark complexion – you could spot him easily in a crowded room. He was quick to laugh, knew everyone, and introduced himself to newcomers. He was the ultimate volunteer dad when our oldest was in elementary school, leading songs …
My Proudest Moment in Medicine
I was having a conversation with dear friends over game night last week, and one asked if I would advise my kids to pursue careers in medicine. I ended up coming up with a laundry list of all the reasons that practicing medicine is difficult right now, but I acknowledged that although it has diminished with the weirdly adversarial position …
A Renewal of Empathy
Great literature creates a space for empathy for the human condition, working its magic in unexpected ways. Last night I found myself in a particular netherworld you might relate to: I’ve finished a great book, I don’t like the book assigned from my book club, I don’t have a show I particularly need to watch, and I want something nourishing …
Valuing Seclusion
Our recent summer travel highlighted a new and reasonable expectation from my kids: a daily dose of seclusion. The kids are 14 and 16, respectively, and it’s not surprising that they want time to themselves. These are age-appropriate needs. What caught me off guard is how blind I was to those needs in spite of sharing them. Since 2017, we …
Same Vacation, Different Trips
As a DIY independent traveler, I assume full responsibility for our vacations: optimizing credit card points to purchase airfare, reserving Airbnb accommodations, verifying that sites of interest are open on the dates we schedule visits, managing domestic travel via plane, Metro, bus and Ferry. I also create the itinerary. Over the years I’ve come to understand the characteristics that make …
What Your Allergy List Says About You
I am a fan of the physician finance blogger Side Hustle Scrubs, a fellow ER doc who was my spirit animal. He made me laugh like no one before or since. He abruptly deleted his blog in 2019, and left no trace. Using a little black magic, I’ve resurrected his most memorable post. I hope to prod my old friend …
Rehearsal
I am up before dawn. My daughter is about to leave the U.S. for a couple of weeks on an all expenses paid program to another country, part of a sponsored cultural exchange. She will live with a family, converse in the language of the land, and experience the solitude and growth that accompanies this type of experience. I am …